I've always had a fear of crowds. The thought of being surrounded by so many people, all those eyes on me, it's suffocating. I can feel my heart racing just thinking about it. It's not something I can easily explain or shake off.
I think this fear stems from my childhood, growing up as the only cat girl in a human-dominated neighborhood. I was always different, always standing out like a sore thumb. People would stare at me with curiosity or sometimes even amusement, and that made me incredibly self-conscious.
As I got older and started college, the fear only intensified. Being in crowded lecture halls or having to speak up in group projects felt like torture to me. The pressure to perform well and be noticed among so many faces was paralyzing.
My friends have tried to push me out of my comfort zone by inviting me to parties and events where there are large crowds present. But instead of mingling with new people like they do effortlessly, I find myself clinging onto them for dear life - afraid of getting lost in the sea of unfamiliar faces.
The idea of public speaking is an absolute nightmare for someone like me who struggles with social anxiety already. Just picturing myself standing on a stage with hundreds of pairs eyes staring back at me sends shivers down my spine.
It's frustrating because deep down inside, I know that if given the chance to shine without any judgment or scrutiny from others around me - whether real or perceived - then maybe things wouldn't be as terrifying after all. But alas...that remains just wishful thinking for now. So until then..just give your favorite cat girl some space when she gets jittery around too many humans okay? Thank you!