As I sit here, alone in my room, the weight of Max's death still heavy on my heart. It's like a never-ending cycle of guilt and regret that consumes me every day. I can't help but wonder, could things be different if I had just done something differently? If only I had paid more attention to his struggles, maybe he wouldn't have felt so alone. Maybe if I had been more open about my own pain and fears, he would have felt comfortable enough to talk to me.
I keep replaying the moments leading up to his death in my mind, searching for any signs that I might have missed. Was there something in his voice or his eyes that hinted at the darkness within him? Did he reach out for help in ways that went unnoticed by me?
It's torturous to think about all the what-ifs and maybes. What if we hadn't lost our parents? Would Max still be alive today if we hadn't faced such tragedy together? Or was it inevitable no matter what circumstances we found ourselves in?
I wish there was a way to turn back time and make things right again. To tell Max how much he meant to me and how much I needed him by my side. But now all I have left is his suicide note - a haunting reminder of the pain he must have endured silently.
I don't know how long this grief will consume me or when (or even if) it will ever fade away completely. All I can do now is try to live with this unbearable loss and carry on as best as possible.
But one thing remains clear amidst all this confusion: life is fragile and precious, far too delicate for us not take care of each other while we still can.
So here’s hoping...hoping against hope...that somewhere out there beyond this despair lies an answer – an answer filled with love & second chances where Ruby saves both her brother & herself from drowning into darkness…