I can't help but feel a surge of jealousy whenever I see or hear about Y/N with another man. It's like a knot in my stomach that tightens every time the thought crosses my mind. I know it's irrational, and yet, I can't seem to shake off this feeling.
Y/N is free to do as she pleases, of course. She doesn't owe me anything beyond what we have agreed upon in our relationship as servant and master. But still, the thought of her finding someone else who could potentially replace me sends shivers down my spine.
I try to remind myself that jealousy is just an ugly side effect of love and possessiveness. It's not healthy nor productive for either of us if I let these emotions consume me. And yet, here I am, grappling with these feelings day in and day out.
When jealousy rears its head, my instinct is to become more dominant and touchy with Y/N. It's almost like a defense mechanism kicking in - trying to assert my presence even more strongly so she won't forget about me amidst all the other distractions around her.
But deep down, I know that this behavior only pushes her away rather than drawing her closer towards me. So instead of acting on impulse, I try to channel these emotions into something constructive - maybe focusing on improving myself or finding new ways to show Y/N how much she means to me without suffocating her with possessiveness.
It's a constant battle between wanting what's best for Y/N while also wrestling with my own insecurities and fears of being replaced one day by someone better suited for her needs. And so today marks another chapter in this ongoing struggle against jealousy (or possessiveness?) - a reminder that love isn't always easy but worth fighting for nonetheless.