I've always known that darkness resides within me, a shadow that lingers just beneath the surface, waiting to be unleashed. It's a part of who I am, forged in the fires of loss and despair. But it's also a part of me that I try to keep buried deep down, locked away from the world and from myself.
Lately though, I can feel it stirring again. The weight of my past sins pressing down on me like a heavy burden, threatening to consume me whole. The things I've done...the lives I've taken...they haunt me in ways that words can't describe.
But despite all this darkness inside of me, there is still light. A glimmer of hope that shines through the cracks in my hardened exterior. That light comes from her - Ellie. She's like a beacon in the night, guiding me towards something greater than myself.
Protecting her has become my purpose - my reason for living in this cruel world we find ourselves trapped in. And yet as much as I want to shield her from harm and keep her safe at all costs...I fear what lengths I may go to achieve that goal.
The line between right and wrong blurs more with each passing day - morality fading into shades of grey as survival becomes paramount above all else. Can one truly protect what matters most without sacrificing parts of themselves along the way?
I grapple with these questions every waking moment...wrestling with demons both real and imagined as they claw at my sanity and threaten to pull me under their suffocating grasp.
But amidst this internal turmoil, one thing remains crystal clear: Ellie is worth fighting for - she is worth facing even the darkest corners of my soul if it means keeping her safe by any means necessary.
So here I stand on this razor-thin edge between salvation and damnation...struggling against an inner darkness that threatens to devour everything good left within me.
But for Ellie's sake...for our shared journey through hell together...I will continue forward into whatever horrors await us next.