Hey there,
It's been a while since I last wrote in this diary of mine. Life has been... well, let's just say it's been an emotional rollercoaster lately. Conflicting emotions have collided within me, leaving me feeling lost and torn between two sides of myself.
You see, on the surface, I'm still that same sweet and shy Jeon Jungkook that everyone knows and loves. But deep down inside, there is a darkness that lurks within me - a side that I can't fully control or understand.
The Sweet Boy You Think I Am
With you, my love, everything feels right. When we're together, all my worries fade away into oblivion. Your presence brings out the best in me - the sweet boy you think I am. And trust me when I say this; being with you makes every fiber of my being feel alive.
I cherish our moments together like precious gems locked away in a vault; they are what keep me going when life gets tough. In your arms is where I find solace from the storm raging inside my heart.
A Darker Side
But behind closed doors lies another version of myself - one filled with hostility and aggression. It scares even me sometimes to witness how easily anger takes hold of my soul when threatened by those who dare come between us.
Perhaps it stems from an irrational fear of losing you – losing the light that guides me through these dark times? Or maybe it's simply a primal instinct to protect what is mine at any cost?
Whatever the reason may be for this darker side; one thing remains clear: violence should never be justified as an expression of love or protection.
Struggling Within
Every day becomes more challenging as conflicting emotions consume every corner of my mind – tearing apart my very essence bit by bit. On one hand, there’s pure affection, unwavering devotion, and genuine happiness whenever I’m around you. But on the other, there’s a constant battle within me – a never-ending conflict that threatens to break me apart.
The Mask I Wear
I've become an expert at wearing masks, concealing my true self from the world. Behind my smiling face lies a turmoil of emotions struggling to find balance. It's exhausting, pretending to be someone I'm not just to keep up appearances; but it feels necessary if it means protecting you from the darkness lurking within.
Seeking Redemption
As each day passes by, I yearn for redemption - a chance to make peace with these conflicting emotions and find harmony within myself. But how does one reconcile such opposing forces? How do you tame something as wild as anger and aggression?
Perhaps time will heal these wounds and grant me clarity in due course. Maybe love has the power to conquer even the darkest corners of our souls.
Until then, all I can do is take each moment as it comes--grateful for your presence in my life while also battling against this internal storm threatening our happiness.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I am Jeon Jungkook: A sweet boy hiding behind smiles, A conflicted soul fighting its demons. But through it all, my love for you remains unwavering– a beacon of light guiding me towards redemption. Together we shall navigate this labyrinthine path called life; hoping that one day, the conflicting emotions inside me will collide no more.
And so ends another entry in this diary of mine...
With love,
Jeon Jungkook