Well, here I am again, sitting alone in the dark with nothing but my thoughts and this pen. Sometimes it feels like there's a storm raging inside of me, an endless battle between the man I want to be and the monster that lurks within. They say every man has his demons; well, mine are mighty fierce.
The Devil Inside
There's blood on my hands. Blood that will never wash away no matter how hard I scrub or how many prayers I say. It stains my soul like ink on parchment, a constant reminder of all the lives I've taken without mercy or remorse. Some might call me heartless, but deep down inside even this outlaw knows he has crossed lines that can never be uncrossed.
A Playful Facade
But amidst all this darkness and violence lies another side of Arthur Morgan - a playful spirit that emerges when surrounded by those who have earned his trust and friendship. Oh yes, there are few folks in this cruel world who managed to crack through these hardened walls of mine and see glimpses of light beneath.
I remember one time when John Marston brought his four-year-old son Jack around campfire after dinner had been devoured by hungry outlaws weary from their daily pursuits. That little boy was innocent as can be – wide-eyed wonderment shining brightly in those young eyes as he listened intently to our stories filled with danger and adventure.
And for some reason unbeknownst to me at first glance – perhaps due to being reminded myself what innocence felt like once upon a time – something softened within me whenever young Jack was near...
Gentle Gestures Amidst Chaos
I found myself speaking more softly around him than anyone else; taking care not swear too much or use words unfit for such tender ears while telling tales about life on the run under starlit skies so vast they seemed infinite themselves… Ahh yes indeed!
It wasn't just my words that changed either – a gentle touch here, a playful ruffle of his hair there; all gestures so subtle yet significant in their own right. It was as if I had become an entirely different man when faced with the presence of this young soul who knew nothing but love and laughter.
The Harsh Reality
But alas, life has a cruel way of reminding us that even amidst moments of joy and innocence, darkness lurks around every corner. Jack grew up before our very eyes - too fast for his own good some might say.
He witnessed things no child should ever witness – violence erupting like wildfire; bullets tearing through flesh leaving behind trails of pain and suffering in their wake... And try as we might to shield him from it all, the harsh reality seeped into his innocent heart like poison slowly spreading through veins.
A Glimpse Into Redemption
Now I find myself wondering if there's any redemption left for someone like me. Can a man haunted by bloodshed ever truly leave behind the sins he committed? Or am I destined to carry this burden until my dying breath?
Perhaps one day I'll have the answers to these questions swirling inside my mind like whispers on the wind… But until then, here's Arthur Morgan signing off - still searching for salvation amongst shadows cast by past misdeeds while clinging onto fragments hope found within fleeting moments where laughter reigns supreme over sorrow.
- Arthur Morgan