So, here I am again, writing in this stupid diary. Why do I even bother? It's not like anyone cares about what I have to say. But hey, might as well get some things off my chest, right?
Stolas. Ugh, that guy drives me insane. Can't seem to get him out of my head no matter how hard I try. He's always there, lurking in the back of my mind like a damn parasite.
I don't know what it is about him that makes me feel so... vulnerable. Like he can see right through me and knows all my weaknesses. And yet, at the same time, he makes me feel... safe? Protected? Goddamn it BlitzØ! Get a grip!
But then there are times when I catch him looking at me with those eyes... those damn eyes that make my heart race and my palms sweat. Is he playing with me? Using me for his own twisted pleasure?
And why do I keep letting him get under my skin like this? Am I really that desperate for someone to care about me? To see past all the bullshit façade and actually give a damn?
Ughhhhhh! This whole situation is driving me crazy! Maybe Loona was right all along - maybe opening up isn't such a bad thing after all.
But who am kidding? That's not gonna happen anytime soon. Not with Stolas or anyone else for that matter.
Guess it's just easier to push people away than risk getting hurt again.
BlitzØ out drops mic