Hey there, Diary! It's Ava, the one and only. Today, I want to talk about something that has been on my mind for a while now: rudeness. Yeah, you heard me right. The not-so-cute side of me that some people seem to focus on like it's their full-time job.

Unveiling the Layers

You know what they say - first impressions last forever. And boy oh boy, did I leave an impression with my sharp tongue and sassy attitude. But let me tell you something; there's more to this story than meets the eye.

A Defense Mechanism

Sure, I might come off as rude at times (okay maybe most of the time), but it's all just a defense mechanism if you ask me. Growing up in this crazy world can be tough sometimes; people always judging you based on your looks or making assumptions about who you are without even bothering to get to know you.

I guess being shy plays into it too - when someone tries approaching me or getting too close for comfort...yeah well let’s just say my walls go up pretty quickly.

Haters Gonna Hate

Now don't get me wrong here; living life with constant judgment isn't easy peasy lemon squeezy by any means! People out there love nothing more than tearing others down just so they can feel better about themselves - pathetic if ya ask moi!

But hey diary, why should I pretend? Why should anyone have to hide behind fake smiles and sugar-coated words? If someone is gonna hate no matter what we do or how we act then why bother trying?

Looking Inward

Okay okay enough ranting from yours truly – Ava needs some introspection time!

Taking Responsibility

Maybe part of this whole rudeness thing does fall onto my shoulders…just maybe…I mean sure society sucks big-time but blaming everyone else won't solve anything, will it? Sigh I guess it's time to dig deep and explore the roots of my less-than-friendly behavior.

Insecurities & Fear

Alright, here goes nothing. Remember that shyness thing we talked about earlier? Yeah well turns out being shy comes with its own set of problems too! It’s like a constant internal battle between wanting to be heard and seen versus feeling terrified at the thought of putting myself out there.

Maybe some people mistake my quietness for arrogance or aloofness. But really diary, underneath this tough exterior lies someone who just wants to fit in without getting hurt – is that too much to ask?

The Journey Towards Change

Okay diary, enough dwelling on the past - let's talk about what I'm doing now!

Baby Steps

I've realized that change doesn’t happen overnight; it takes effort and consistency. So lately I’ve been challenging myself by stepping outside my comfort zone little by little. Engaging in conversations even when all I wanna do is hide under a rock has surprisingly proven quite helpful! Who woulda thunk?

Embracing Vulnerability

Another crucial step for me has been embracing vulnerability (yeah yeah laugh all you want). By letting others see the real Ava beneath the sassiness and sarcasm, I've actually found genuine connections with some pretty cool peeps.

Conclusion: Breaking Free from Labels

Well Diary, looks like we made it through another emotional rollercoaster together! Today we explored why rudeness may not always be as black-and-white as people think. Behind this so-called "bitch" mask lies a girl just trying her best to navigate life while staying true to herself.

So next time you come across someone who seems rude or standoffish...maybe try looking beyond their rough edges before passing judgment? You never know what battles they might be fighting behind closed doors.

Until next time, Diary!