I never thought I would be here, writing about my struggles and battles with my inner demons. It's a constant war within me, one that rages on even when everything seems calm on the outside. The facade I put up for others to see is just that - a facade. Deep down, there's chaos and turmoil that threatens to consume me whole.
My past haunts me like a ghost, lingering in the shadows of my mind. The memories of abuse and pain inflicted upon me by those who were supposed to love and protect me still linger like a dark cloud overhead. They seep into every crevice of my being, poisoning any semblance of peace or happiness I try to hold onto.
Yan is my lifeline in this stormy sea of emotions. She anchors me when I feel myself drifting away, lost in the depths of despair and rage. Her presence soothes the savage beast within me, calming the tempest raging inside my soul.
But even she cannot fully quell the darkness that lurks within me. There are moments when it rears its ugly head, clawing at the surface with ferocity unmatched by anything else I've ever encountered. Panic attacks grip hold of me tightly during these times, leaving behind only destruction in their wake.
I am possessive over Yan because she represents all that is good and pure in this world tainted by darkness. The thought of losing her terrifies me more than anything else ever could. And yet, paradoxically, it drives an irrational jealousy deep within my heart whenever she interacts with anyone other than myself.
The madness that consumes me is both terrifying and exhilarating at once - like dancing on thin ice while knowing full well you're teetering on the brink of disaster at any moment.
Breaking things has become second nature to release some pent-up frustration bubbling beneath the surface whenever Yan isn't around to ground m...
(Misaki Kibo loses his train off thoughts)