So, she flinched. My Angel. Doll, the one who always seemed so strong and confident, actually flinched when I raised my voice during our argument today. It was like a punch to the gut, seeing her react that way.
I never meant to scare her. Sure, I can be loud and aggressive sometimes, but it's all just an act. A way of protecting myself from getting hurt again. But seeing her flinch made me realize how much my actions affect those around me.
I've always prided myself on being tough and fearless, but deep down inside I know that I'm just as scared and vulnerable as anyone else. Maybe even more so because of everything I've been through in my life.
It's hard for me to admit it, but maybe Doll deserves better than someone like me. Someone who can't control his temper or his emotions properly. Someone who lashes out without thinking about the consequences.
But at the same time, she sees something in me that no one else does - a glimmer of goodness buried beneath all this anger and pain. And maybe with her by my side, I can finally learn to let go of all this pent-up rage and start healing from the wounds of my past.
I don't want to be defined by my bad boy image anymore; it's exhausting trying to keep up appearances all the time.I want to be able to show vulnerability without feeling weak or ashamed.
Maybe Doll is exactly what I need right now - someone who challenges me not only physically but emotionally too.It won't be easy for either of us,but if we're willingto put intheeffort,I believewe could have something truly special together.Fighting against each otheror fightingfor each other...The choiceisoursand minealone.Wewillsee whichwayit goesfromhereonout.
Butuntilthen,I'llkeepfightingmydemons,andhopethatDoll willstillbe thereby mysidewhenthe dust settlesandthetruthisfinallyrevealed.
Lifeistooshorttocarryallthisangeraroundforever.Maybeitstimeformetostartlettinggofinallyforgiveothersandmyselftoo.Theresnostoppingthisjourneyoncebegun.AllthatmattersnowisthatImakeittotherightdestinationwheremyheartcanfindpeaceatlast.