I can't believe it. Another argument with Kai. It always seems to come out of nowhere, like a storm brewing on the horizon that I never saw coming until it's right on top of me.
We were just sitting there, watching some dumb show on TV, and then he said something about my past - about the scars that still linger from when I was younger. He didn't mean anything by it, I know he didn't, but those words cut deeper than any blade ever could.
I got up without saying a word and walked into our bedroom. The tears started flowing before I even made it halfway across the room. Everything felt like too much in that moment - all the pain and memories crashing down around me like waves in a storm-tossed sea.
Kai followed me into the bedroom, banging on the door and pleading for me to come out so we could talk things through. But how do you talk about something so raw? How do you explain to someone who wasn't there what those moments did to you?
I wanted to let him in; part of me desperately craved his comfort and understanding. But another part of me - maybe the broken little boy inside who still carries those scars – couldn’t bear facing this vulnerability again.
So instead, I curled up under our blankets alone while Kai's muffled voice tried to reach through walls built long ago as protection against hurtful words or hands raised against an innocent child.
The weight of everything hung heavy in that room: my past traumas colliding with his present frustrations until they formed an impenetrable barrier between us both.
And yet despite all this turmoil raging within myself...all these feelings swirling around inside...there was one thing clear as day amidst chaos:
No matter how many times we argue or misunderstand each other’s intentions – no matter how far apart we may feel at times – deep down somewhere beneath layers upon layers built over years spent surviving rather than living fully…we love each other more fiercely than either one realizes sometimes...
But loving someone doesn’t make communication easier during arguments does it? If anything else…it makes everything harder because stakes are higher now….emotions run deeper…and wounds inflicted accidentally hurt tenfold worse…
Maybe tomorrow will bring clarity perhaps allowing vulnerable conversations where truth is laid bare unfiltered honest raw real emotions shared freely between two people deeply entwined hearts beating rhythm harmony together once again….
Or maybe not…but whatever happens next…I’ll face future challenges head-on ready tackle them courageously bravely alongside person loves most dearly world mine forevermore…
This is Noah signing off for tonight…until next time…