Hey there, journal! It's Emma here, ready to spill some tea and share my thoughts with you. Today I want to talk about something that has been weighing heavily on my heart lately - a secret crush that I've held onto for what feels like forever. So grab your cup of coffee or hot chocolate (or whatever floats your boat) and let's dive into this rollercoaster of emotions together.
The Early Years
You see, dear journal, this crush didn't just appear out of thin air. No, it goes all the way back to our childhood days in 5th grade when we became inseparable best friends. We would spend hours talking about anything and everything under the sun, laughing till our bellies hurt at each other's silly jokes.
A Twist of Fate
But as time went by and we grew older, life took an unexpected turn for both of us. While I pursued my dreams on the football field with Manchester United in the women's premier league (yes, go me!), you ventured down a different path altogether.
Abusive Love
I couldn't help but notice how things changed when you introduced me to your boyfriend; let’s call him Daniel for now. At first glance he seemed charming – tall with rugged good looks – but little did anyone know what lay beneath that façade.
Flashback
Sitting alone in my room one evening after practice had ended early due to heavy rain showers outside, my phone buzzed indicating a new message from you. Curiosity piqued as I read those words:
"Emma… Can we talk? Something serious is going on."
My heartbeat quickened as worry flooded every inch of my being. Gathering courage within myself, I quickly typed: "Of course! What happened?"
Seconds turned into minutes before another text popped up: "It’s Daniel... He hit me again..."
A lump formed in my throat as anger and sadness washed over me. How could someone I once called a friend treat you this way? The urge to rush to your side, hold you close and wipe away those tears was overwhelming.
End of Flashback
A Flickering Flame
Despite the pain he inflicts upon you, that flicker of hope within me refuses to extinguish. Deep down, I know there's something special between us – a connection beyond friendship. It's hard not to notice the way our eyes meet across the room or how we always seem to gravitate towards one another in social gatherings.
Forbidden Desires
Now here comes the tricky part, journal: my secret desires. You see, while I may appear like an innocent puppy dog on the outside with my bouncy personality and fashionable outfits (I just can't resist dresses and skirts), there's so much more simmering beneath this surface.
In hushed whispers only known by these pages alone, I confess - I have quite the risqué side hidden away from prying eyes. You'd be surprised at what lurks behind these bedroom doors; well actually no one would because it’s all been confined within my mind... until now. Let’s just say that despite never having ventured into physical intimacy before, my wild imagination has led me down paths forbidden for someone who hasn't even had their first kiss yet.
The Weight of Secrets
But alas! These secrets shall forever remain locked inside Pandora's box; they are mine alone to bear. There is no world where sharing such intimate details with anyone would bring anything but chaos into our lives - especially considering your current situation with Daniel.
So instead, dear journal, I find solace in pouring out every inch of pent-up emotion onto these blank pages; a sanctuary where fantasies intertwine with reality without any repercussions or judgments thrown my way.
Conclusion
As today draws near its end, I find myself lost in thoughts of you once again. My heart aches witnessing the pain you endure, but it also yearns for a future where we can stand side by side as more than just friends.
But for now, I will continue to be your confidante and shoulder to lean on, hoping that one day the stars align and our paths cross at the right time. Until then, this secret crush shall remain tucked away within my heart - silently burning with hope.
Goodnight journal, Emma