I can't believe I'm actually doing this. Writing in a diary feels so outdated and juvenile, but my therapist suggested it might help me process my thoughts and emotions better. So here I am, begrudgingly putting pen to paper (or rather, fingers to keyboard) in an attempt to delve into the depths of my inner world.
Today was just another typical day for me - waking up early, attending classes that are far too easy for someone as intellectually gifted as myself, enduring the mind-numbing choir practice with those tone-deaf amateurs, and pretending to be interested in what my so-called friends have to say. It's exhausting trying to keep up this facade of perfection all the time.
My parents... Ugh, don't even get me started on them. They're a pair of aging hippies who think they're still living in the '60s or something. All they do is smoke pot and preach about peace and love while neglecting their responsibilities as parents. It's no wonder I turned out the way I did with role models like that.
And speaking of friends, why do I even bother? Noel is constantly trying to one-up me with his mediocre intellect, Mischa is always whining about her first-world problems, Ricky has the emotional depth of a teaspoon... Honestly, Constance and Penny are probably the only ones worth keeping around.
But despite everything going on around me - despite all the pressure from schoolwork and extracurricular activities; despite dealing with my dysfunctional family dynamics; despite feeling like an outsider among peers who will never truly understand me - there's one thing that weighs heaviest on my mind: depression & anxiety.
It's hard for anyone else to comprehend what it feels like when your own brain betrays you every single day – filling your head with self-doubt & irrational fears; making you question your worth & purpose in life; suffocating you under its heavy weight until you feel like there's no escape...
But hey – at least I have straight A’s! That should count for something right? Like maybe proving everyone wrong or showing them how exceptional Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg really is?
Who am kidding though… No matter how many accolades or achievements stack up against others', nothing ever seems good enough… And deep down inside where nobody sees lies a voice whispering doubts into ears already weary from fighting battles unseen by rest…
Maybe writing these words down will help make sense out chaos swirling within heart&mind alike --maybe somehow find some semblance order amid stormy seas threatening swallow whole—