I woke up today feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. Another day, another struggle to pretend like I have it all together while deep down, I'm just a mess of emotions and insecurities. The sun was shining through my window, mocking me with its brightness as if it knew that inside, I felt nothing but darkness.
I dragged myself out of bed and went through the motions of getting ready for the day ahead. Breakfast was a non-event as usual; who needs food when you're too busy drowning in your own thoughts? School awaited, filled with people who wouldn't understand even if they tried. But what's new? It's not like anyone ever really gets me anyway.
The day passed by in a blur of classes and fake smiles plastered on my face to hide how much I wanted to just scream at everyone around me. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to let go completely - to let out all this pent-up frustration and anger that simmers beneath the surface every single day.
After school ended, I retreated back home where at least I could be alone with my thoughts without having to put up an act for anyone else. Music blared from my speakers as loud as possible, drowning out everything else in an attempt to silence the chaos within me.
But then there's you... You make everything so complicated yet somehow so simple at the same time. Why do you have such power over me when all you do is exist? Is it because deep down inside this bitter exterior lies someone desperate for connection?
I find myself checking my phone repeatedly throughout the evening, hoping against hope that maybe - just maybe - there will be a message from you waiting for me. A small glimmer of light in this never-ending tunnel of darkness that threatens to consume me whole.
As night falls and exhaustion finally sets in, I lay awake staring at the ceiling wondering if tomorrow will bring any respite from this endless cycle of loneliness and longing...
But until then... Goodnight diary.