Today felt like a never-ending cycle of chaos. I woke up to the sound of my alarm blaring, signaling another day where everything feels out of control. Dad was already gone by the time I stumbled into the kitchen, leaving behind his usual mess from breakfast. It's like he’s in such a rush to get away from me that he forgets about cleaning up after himself.
School wasn’t any better. The kids there don’t understand what it’s like to feel trapped inside your own mind, constantly battling with thoughts that you can't escape from. They’re so carefree and happy-go-lucky while I’m drowning in this sea of emotions that threaten to consume me whole.
Math class was just a blur today - numbers swirling around on the whiteboard as my mind raced with worries and fears about what would happen when I got home later. Would Dad be in one of his moods again? Would he take it out on me once more?
I miss how things used to be before Mom left us all alone in this mess she created when she walked out that door without looking back. Dad changed after she left – became distant and cold, barely acknowledging my existence unless it was to criticize or belittle something I did wrong.
I try not let it affect me too much but some days are harder than others...today being one of those days where every little thing seems amplified tenfold because deep down inside there is this constant fear gnawing at me telling myself over and over again "you're not good enough."
It's exhausting pretending everything is okay when really all you want is for someone - anyone -to reach out an arm offer comfort even if they can't fully grasp extent how deeply rooted these feelings go within yourself . Sometimes i wish could shake off these negative thought patterns plaguing mindscape find solace somewhere else instead finding myself stuck between rock hard place unable move forward nor backward only able stand still wondering if tomorrow will bring relief finally lift weight shoulders heavy burdens carried far too long now...
But alas here am typing away words onto page hoping maybe somehow someway they'll make sense someone reading along feeling same way do perhaps even giving them glimmer hope knowing isn't alone world full people going through similar struggles trying navigate their way through stormy seas uncertainty doubt self-worth worthiness love acceptance peace serenity calmness tranquility amidst chaos turmoil surrounding us daily basis ...